Wednesday, 12 November 2014


Today I will take my time to pen a serious article based on an ugly incidence that happened this week. An incidence that should not have happened at least not within the magnitude it did if the Sexual Offences Act of 2006, The penal code and the constitution of Kenya are observed and implemented as they should be.

I know most of you do not consider yourselves perpetrators of sexual Gender Based Violence. That is something kina Maish. Omosh and Kama in Mukuru slums do, right? Well you are wrong and I will be telling you why you could be a sexual predator shortly.

So a woman dresses in a manner that you and your patriarchal thinking do not consider appropriate you opt to strip her? How has that solved the problem. If she was allegedly seducing you and making you hot, has that changed now that she is nude? Is your body that is obviously your god that you are born to serve and fulfill now cool? What about the women who are assaulted daily by the repugnant sight of sagging trousers that mostly unveil very dirty innerwear, Should we also act savagely and undress the unsightly dressed men? As a matter of fact why are you not undressing these disgustingly dressed boys? Why pick on a woman?  I assume her humiliation made you feel complete and confident in your in your manhood, you went back home (if you have any) roaring like a lion, the king of the jungle after a hard day’s work. You were welcomed to a sumptuous meal, a glass of wine and a good massage for a day well spent right? keep stripping women, the drawers of the sexual offences Act had you in mind.

As if that is not enough, somebody in the crowd had time to take a video of the whole travesty. Why oh why did you feel the need to upload the video on the internet, why? Do you think you are any different from the assaulters? How that phone was not even snatched, where are pick-pockets when we need them?

Then comes the third group, those sharing and re-sharing the video as they express their utter disgust and mortification with what the Embassava touts did. What is the difference between you and those criminals? Why are you opting to strip the poor girl over and over again? The most horrific thing would be if a river road guy quickly made a video and started peddling it as is wont to happen with such sensational occurrences. Mercifully they seem to be very sensible on this one.

The Constitution of Kenya, the supreme Law of this Land at article 25 (a) guarantees us of freedom from torture and cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment .The Embassava touts, the cameraman and the sharers of the video have jointly subjected this girl to cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment. Those shouting on top of their voices about rights having limitations, it would interest you to know that this is one freedom that may not be limited. It does not matter whether women or men are dressed ‘badly’ you may not infringe on their rights.

I am certain without a doubt that three quarters of the perpetrators of this heinous act braved the hot sun in the referendum to vote yes to a new constitution. Did people read what they were binding themselves to? Article 28 declares that every person has inherent dignity and the right to have that dignity respected and protected. So why did we decide to trample on her right to her God given dignity, something she was born with. Who gave us that right?

This document that we queued for hours in the scorching sun to pass tells us that people have a right not to be subjected to any form of violence from either public or private sources, we have a right not to be subjected to torture in any manner, whether physical or psychological. These rights cannot just be wished away when we want to. They cannot just be ignored especially when our tiny minds tell us that women are weak and it is our god given duty to discipline them. Were we passing a Law that we did not intend to be bound by or because it is a woman getting beat up and humiliated that is a small matter?

I am not as angry at the strippers as I am at the people online either on facebook. Twitter, various blogs and on you tube who keep sharing this video. I have made a choice not to watch that clip but I cannot help but follow the debates around it. I am left wondering, what if it was your sister, your mother or your daughter? Would you click that share button as fast as you just did on this particular clip? Don’t you see you have participated in the abuse of a woman? What have you just done to her potential as a person? You my friends are enablers of sexual gender based violence. You have given audience to perpetrators and made them feel victorious in their heinous act.

The statistics on Gender based violence in Kenya are worrying, and as the citizenry we must come out strongly to say no to GBV of any form. We must insist on the arrest and prosecution of perpetrators and the Law must act as a deterrent to this kind of crude and uncouth behavior. 


Sign the petition:

Thursday, 6 November 2014


Dear friends, I will soon be relocating to the Democratic republic of Congo, I know this will come as a surprise to many of you, but no, I shall not be pursuing the con men that Buyer Beware exposes, they do have a tendency of disappearing into the DRC don't they, and no I have not become a con too.

I came to this decision after reading a magazine article on how women in the DRC are killing themselves in the hope of adding to their sitting allowance. In disbelief I read of their struggles with swallowing a daily regime of concoctions that consist of Maggi stock cubes (these are not very different from Royco Cubes), C4 Syrup or pills, and raw ginger juice. other potions include dongo dongo Gombo a soup made from hibiscus. can you imagine the agony of swallowing raw royco?  what astounded me the most was that this mixtures are at times shot right up the rectum for better efficacy. That is how determined my sisters in Kinshasa are.


Of course back home in Kenya we have seen the growth of river road back street physicians, man those people have surely made a killing. Unlike DRC's butt enhancement module that is clear on the ingredients I have no idea what the magic substances used in the Kenyan treatment is. That is a trade secret well kept. 

On this perverted streets of Nairobi,I have had the unfortunate encounter of people including women take a pinch at my derriere just to confirm if it is real. you see the good Lord in His infinite wisdom blessed me with a rather generous portion of a bottom complete with hips to complement it. The times I have been asked if it is real are uncountable and I will not even mention the numerous suggestions that could be carrying my neighbour's behind too. I am grateful that I am now comfortable in my skin, the struggle has been long and real (that is a story for another day).

our very own Veyra Sidika

According to the numerous literature on this topic, men in DRC are no longer attracted to the thin clementine types (remember her from song of Lawino). They only have eyes for the well formed buttocks and properly filled out bossoms, as African women world wide are re-discovering their natural hair men are yearning for the true African proportions. 

Nastou Traore an Ivorian actress is said to be the catalyst of this body image change in the DRC

Now in DRC unlike here at home I will not be the object of curiosity surprise or shock but of admiration and pure desire, my behind will be celebrated, thus the reason I will make this move. Mine will no longer be a caricature or a Saartjes Bartmaan life. No, it will be a normal life with a normal body, there shall be no need to consume dangerous toxins through my behind because hey it is all natural.

I could even get a job consulting on how to acquire well rounded, firm and extra large buttocks. My target clients will certainly be all the desperate ladies in Bukavu, Kisangani, Lubumbashi, Mbuji-Mayi and of course Kinshasa where I will be based. good bye lunges and squats. 

I must refresh my French knowldge beyond 'Je ne parle Francaise' and I may need to buy more Koffi Olomide music and hook up with Piston to learn some Lingala that will be quite helpful in my new quest. 

Jezra M

Then I slap myself back to reality

Wednesday, 5 November 2014


Yes, this topic is probably exhausted by now, but I must tell you how Much I love Betty Bayo. Her songs inspire me, they touch me  deeply. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I have an uncanny love for Kikuyu gospel music especially the kigoco kind. I discovered her quite by accident a few years back when I was a firm member of  sofa baptist. I feel the need to include that the majority of members of this faith are the greatest contributors to the 310 ministries' offering kitty. Now Betty was having a big launch for her album '11th hour' at St Andrews and she was being interviewed on television (details of the channel fail me). Her story was quite moving, a practical example of 'from grass to grace'. from a house-girl to a millionaire by God's grace. 
Her hit song 11th hour has severally pulled me from terrible places and anytime  I am in a thanksgiving mood, Siyabonga is the go to song. (I still love hymns best though).There is no doubt in my mind that Betty is a gifted songwriter and crooner.

That said, is she bleaching her skin?
What is it with women and bleaching their skin?
Could it be over exposure to potassium permanganate?  Now here is where I want to sneer at myself 'see your life!.'  I failed miserably in Chemistry, every time I unleash my KCSE Certificate I pray to God that He averts the eyes of whomever has been lucky enough to see that priced document. See there are several A's in it too. However that Chemistry totally refused me.

Maybe Mrs. Ncube should have tried harder, I would be rich. It is unbelievable that those substance x and y's that almost scarred me for life had so much potential. It is incredible I didn't even know any of those details about potassium permanganate until Sunday, that my friends is how people become victims of panda mbegu, I kid you not. Encourage your babies to love chemistry, they could be the next Dencias's complete with their own variations of whitenicious.  

Betty has continued making good music over the years, very admirable and commendable because many musicians are one hit wonders. There is some real anointing in there.

I however feel so sad, having listened to her initial testimony of how far the Lord had brought her that she will let a man drag her back down. I am no authority on matters marriage but I can say a word or two on love especially the misguided kind. When they say that love is blind, believe them because it is true. I am convinced beyond doubt that everyone around Betty could see that the good Prophet Doctor (how does a form 2 drop out become a Doctor? could I be wasting my time with these adult studies?) was a shady character, but no one was able to convince her. The first time I lay my eyes on him in one of his TV sessions (Sofa Baptist again) I knew without a doubt that there was a crooked fellow. His family background too pointed towards rot.

Listening to my dear Betty defend herself in almost all the media station this week I knew without a doubt that all this MOG (man of God) needed to do is tell his wife, the lovely Betty that Mohammed Ali is lying and using him to advance the Alshaabab agenda, then he will quote a few words from scripture most probably those touching on wives and subordination, heads and necks and she will be back lock and square. That my friends is the power of love. 
She will forget that he had become a breast physician overnight and that he had a magical radio station. If she never left after it was alleged her husband's love child had died in a mysterious fire, if she stayed put when David Okari from NTV did a similar exposee to the jicho pevu one or even with the constant rumours of her husband's indiscretions I doubt she will leave now. When time for her to leave comes, no one will need to tell her, she will simply walk. I pray that the career she built single handedly will stand the test of time.
Did she know about her husband's crooked ways? I don't know, she could have genuinely been blind, as I told you, love blinds.

I just hope she gets over this and comes back to writing music that blesses my soul.