Tuesday, 16 August 2016


My future Darling, please do not propose marriage to me at the most significant moment of my career. Do not wait for me to spend countless hours racing through the Iten valleys like a night runner or diving in bitter cold water somewhere in China in the hope of getting to the Olympics for you to take my moment of sporting glory.

Before I continue dear reader please note that calling me a feminist is the greatest honour you could accord me. It is not an insult at all, I do not even know what a bitter one is so please hold those horses.

Public proposals are the rave these days and hey don't get me wrong, I love love love them. They are often so romantic and well thought out. They never fail to draw a tear from me. The goodwill accompanying such joyous moments can be felt by looking at the bystanders or simply reading online comments. People tend to express honest joyous opinions on strangers' posts and rarely do you read negative comments on these proposals. We even commiserate with a dejected lover when the answer is NO. Surely you couldn't help but feel sad for the Guangzhou programmer who forked out an equivalent of his 2 years’ salary to buy 99 iPhone 6’s, organised them into a heart shape and gathered enough curious bystanders only for the girl in question to still say NO. But why are we like this ladies? Why? yaani we can’t just wait till we get home and tell the poor guy, ' eeh by the way back there when you made a public spectacle, that YES I gave, I was just kidding, the answer is really NO,' disappoint him privately. Guys before you opt to pull a public proposal please ensure you and madam are in sync. at least make sure there have been minimum 3 questions and hints on when you will marry her. tuepuke aibu. 

It’s actually very hard to say NO when accosted in some of these occasions, especially if cameras are involved and guys seem to know this. It is very awkward but I see people putting on a brave face to deal with it later, take the case of He Zi, the Chinese diver whose boyfriend (now fiance) chose her moment of glory at the medal receiving podium to propose marriage. He Zi had just received a silver medal for the women's three-meter springboard at the Rio Olympics on Sunday. She hadn’t even left the podium she was busy basking in the limelight of her success. Some of the dives she executed would make some of the worlds renowned contortionists turn green with envy.
FINA/NVC Diving World Series 2016 - Day 2
see what I am talking about

Why does this proposal upset me.  For one, He Zi’s fiancĂ© managed to make her ‘the girl who was proposed to’ as opposed to ‘the silver medal winner.’ And as my friend Sly pointed out, we all forgot about the other two, the gold and the bronze winners in the circus. It all became about the proposal, the whole ceremony was hijacked. These ladies worked extremely hard for those medals and should not have been upstaged by domestics.  He won bronze in the men's synchronized 3-meter springboard but he did not propose then did he? Mr. Fiance may have been up to good, I will never know,  he however came out as a very self-centred individual. His actions shouted, ‘why are you so happy, what about me, me, me, I am here…marry me.’   

A  current quick google search for He Zi reveals little but the proposal, all the attention has been taken from her momentous achievement. It all boils down to gender and roles, it is a clear message that she may achieve all the titles in the world but her chief role will always be wifyyy.
Proposals are not bad, as I said earlier I adore them, however its only fair to consider the time and place. 

Thursday, 11 August 2016


Recently I came across a spirited campaign by one lady on Facebook searching for her long lost cousin. She was taking no prisoners, from the people who  were last seen with her missing cousin to the police officers, the people who were rumoured to have been enamored with her to her employer's spouse. She was a  fiercely determined woman.

This brave lady's story resonated deeply with me because I too have lost a person dear to me. At least with death one can finally make peace with the morbid reality but when an adult drops from the face of the earth the helplessness that engulfs the relatives and other people close to them is deep, there is no closure whatsoever. You see my Paternal aunt, a woman I have known and loved all my life just disappeared. Sadly the presumption of death can be applied as no one has heard from or seen her in more than 7 years. All efforts to trace her have brought no results. Maybe we should try harder we keep telling ourselves. At first I thought it was not my problem after all her brothers, sisters and parents were there, but slowly i began to realise that we all needed to pull together. it was overwhelming. the trail was sickening, the authorities cant seem to act without details that frankly speaking we do not have.

At times my Facebook wall looks like a missing persons bureau, but I must share the numerous missing persons photos I come across almost daily. I jubilate when some are found but share the sadness of the many that never come back with positive news. The statistics on missing persons especially children pulled off the internet are boggling. missing adults still seem not to get much attention. It is assumed that most adults disappear willingly and will return before 48 hours are up. I do not believe any adult would disappear for more than 7 years willingly especially when there had been no major fall out in the family. How can an African not attend their own father's funeral, its simply unfathomable. The cases of human trafficking I have read are even more scarier and as a person with a missing relative I seem to have scoured enough material on the subject of human trafficking to know what a grave reality it is among us. women are trafficked for reasons raging from prostitution to domestic slavery. It is a vice that we all need to raise our voices against.

Dionisia Njoki Kirembui, if you ever read this, we love you and we miss you please let us know if you are well (or not). We would have loved to mourn with you when we lost Uma and Mama Murethii. Oh Mwakarimu your grandmother finally kissed the world goodbye in style after more than a hundred years, only you would have recited the tale beautifully for posterity. we would have loved to celebrate with you at the graduations, births and wonderful achievements of your nieces and grandchildren.

As a family we continue to hope that you will return to us and we keep doing our best to find you.

Ps; forgive me for all the times I laughed at your first name.