Tuesday, 16 August 2016


My future Darling, please do not propose marriage to me at the most significant moment of my career. Do not wait for me to spend countless hours racing through the Iten valleys like a night runner or diving in bitter cold water somewhere in China in the hope of getting to the Olympics for you to take my moment of sporting glory.

Before I continue dear reader please note that calling me a feminist is the greatest honour you could accord me. It is not an insult at all, I do not even know what a bitter one is so please hold those horses.

Public proposals are the rave these days and hey don't get me wrong, I love love love them. They are often so romantic and well thought out. They never fail to draw a tear from me. The goodwill accompanying such joyous moments can be felt by looking at the bystanders or simply reading online comments. People tend to express honest joyous opinions on strangers' posts and rarely do you read negative comments on these proposals. We even commiserate with a dejected lover when the answer is NO. Surely you couldn't help but feel sad for the Guangzhou programmer who forked out an equivalent of his 2 years’ salary to buy 99 iPhone 6’s, organised them into a heart shape and gathered enough curious bystanders only for the girl in question to still say NO. But why are we like this ladies? Why? yaani we can’t just wait till we get home and tell the poor guy, ' eeh by the way back there when you made a public spectacle, that YES I gave, I was just kidding, the answer is really NO,' disappoint him privately. Guys before you opt to pull a public proposal please ensure you and madam are in sync. at least make sure there have been minimum 3 questions and hints on when you will marry her. tuepuke aibu. 

It’s actually very hard to say NO when accosted in some of these occasions, especially if cameras are involved and guys seem to know this. It is very awkward but I see people putting on a brave face to deal with it later, take the case of He Zi, the Chinese diver whose boyfriend (now fiance) chose her moment of glory at the medal receiving podium to propose marriage. He Zi had just received a silver medal for the women's three-meter springboard at the Rio Olympics on Sunday. She hadn’t even left the podium she was busy basking in the limelight of her success. Some of the dives she executed would make some of the worlds renowned contortionists turn green with envy.
FINA/NVC Diving World Series 2016 - Day 2
see what I am talking about

Why does this proposal upset me.  For one, He Zi’s fiancĂ© managed to make her ‘the girl who was proposed to’ as opposed to ‘the silver medal winner.’ And as my friend Sly pointed out, we all forgot about the other two, the gold and the bronze winners in the circus. It all became about the proposal, the whole ceremony was hijacked. These ladies worked extremely hard for those medals and should not have been upstaged by domestics.  He won bronze in the men's synchronized 3-meter springboard but he did not propose then did he? Mr. Fiance may have been up to good, I will never know,  he however came out as a very self-centred individual. His actions shouted, ‘why are you so happy, what about me, me, me, I am here…marry me.’   

A  current quick google search for He Zi reveals little but the proposal, all the attention has been taken from her momentous achievement. It all boils down to gender and roles, it is a clear message that she may achieve all the titles in the world but her chief role will always be wifyyy.
Proposals are not bad, as I said earlier I adore them, however its only fair to consider the time and place. 

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